I Just Wanna Go Home

This is it for me, everyone. By that I mean my incarnations as a lightworker starseed.

I’ve seen in meditations that I’ve performed similar missions in other lives and on other planets and it has now become very obvious to me that I need a break.

A long break. Like a few million years break.

I say this not just because of the tumultuous insanity that is taking place right now on earth but also because there is a knowing I’ve felt over the past year or so that this life completes some kind of contractual item to which I agreed.

It’s that way for all the lightworkers starseeds, I believe.


We lightworkers starseeds have earned the privilege of getting the hell out of here after this is over, right?

Someone please tell me that, “yes, Mike, you are free to leave this nightmare experiment and go home when your mission is complete. Not only that, but you don’t have to incarnate into an evil, cabal controlled cesspool of lies on any planet ever again.”

Does anybody remember seeing that clause written into their soul contract?

Heck, has anybody seen ANY part of their soul contract, for that matter?

My head feels woozy, I’m completely exhausted, my dreams are vivid stage productions that sometimes drain me dry, in my meditations I keep seeing these magical, pristine places that I’m not allowed to remain in, friends pepper me with ridiculous comments about “phoning home” to ET, my family knows beyond any doubt that I’m in dire need of psychiatric help, and in the meantime I remain awake in an ocean of sleeping humans who are utterly oblivious to the crushing deception being played out on them.

Somewhere along the line I read that the rewards for our participation as lightworkers starseeds in this craziness would be well worth the time we spend here.

Well, listen up, higher self, spiritual guides, angels and any other spiritual beings who might be observing the fun I’m having here:

When it comes to rewards for hazardous duty on earth, I can dream big!


26 thoughts on “I Just Wanna Go Home

  1. Mike……. Whatever would you do for excitement if you stopped coming to crazy Earth?? I’m being funny of course! The only reward I want is to never have to come back here again. I don’t see Jesus walking around here anywhere and “God” has not been seen since “The Garden of Eden” in the bible.

    Hmmmmmmmmm….. maybe this place really is quarantined.

  2. angelicview says:

    Mike, I do believe that everyone has a “contract” or “blueprint”. No one that I’ve ever heard of has been able to view their own contract. You can leave after you complete everything you decided you wanted to complete is well – completed! The problem may be that you don’t know when it is completed. It may be all done when you are 90 years old! So I suggest settling in and getting comfortable!

    I am like you, though, the sooner I can get out of here the better. Now, if there’s a world transformation and we’re living in an “Eden” type of world, then I could be here longer and be happy. I am very sensitive to negativity, hot and cold temperatures, and physical pain to name a few. I would be happy to live on if those things were better. I’d love to travel, too, which I have not been able to do much in my adult life. Sure would like to look at the Earth with my own eyes rather than pictures. But if the negativity, extreme temps, and pain don’t ease up then I will be stuck here – and unhappy. ;)

    • mike0v says:

      90! 90 years old! Augh! I sure hope my contract doesn’t last until I’m 90.

      Now, about being settled in; yeah, I’m settled in. Comfortable? Well, that’s something completely different!

      It’s all about finding balance, like Brad said, and I’m trying, really I am. (But, you know, Brad, having an awakened wife must be very nice. I’d love to be in that situation.)

      And one more thing: maybe, just maybe, the higher beings that are running this show have been waiting to hear something like this from lightworkers. In other words, when enough lightworkers start voicing their displeasure at how stuff is going, then a big red indicator lights up on their control panels which tells them that the ascension sequence needs to start.

      Just a thought…

    • angelicview says:

      Well, I don’t think the ET’s are going to be starting the ascension sequence! lol But I do get what you’re saying.

      When Yvonne wrote me with the things that stand out on my chart, she mentioned that life would begin to slow down enough for me to relax more when I was 59. 59! I really wasn’t planning on living that long! But… I need to “settle in”, because I really don’t know how long I’ll live – and try to make the best of it.

  3. erich says:

    I’m ready for this to end too. I am so tired. I’m on autopilot. doing my best for everyone, but feeling below the surface, please, please, please can I get out of here? Have I done enough yet? Thank you for putting this into words.

    • mike0v says:

      “Autopilot” is a perfect description, erich.

      In the past I loved to play golf. Played for many years.

      Well, went out with my brothers and father yesterday and found the whole experience to be mechanical. Normally I would be excited and focused and try to shoot a low score but it’s not the same anymore.

      My mind kept drifting and I kept looking up into the sky, wondering when this “experiment” would finally be over.

      I’ve completely lost interest in something that I used to love. It almost feels unfair.

  4. ksense says:

    I think the main goal is to find balance in every moment of life and NOT to find the right belief. That will lead us toward ascension. Only you can decide what your mission is but for me, maybe there isn’t necessarily a “mission” in the way we think. Perhaps we’re supposed to learn to just be instead of taking up a cause. Again, only we as individuals can decide that. Leave if you want but while you’re here I recommend finding the balance.

    • ksense says:

      Maybe I need to clarify a point, that point being…… if you start looking for a mission or cause, a mission or cause may just find you. I’m not sure it will always be a good thing.

    • mike0v says:

      Very profound, Brad. Finding balance in every moment is probably one of the top lessons to be learned while here on earth.

      I agree about our missions, too, because nothing was ever spelled out for me. I’ve just taken educated guesses at why I’m here. And taking up a cause isn’t something I have ever done in this life but one thing I still enjoy doing, all the time, is learning.

      It must be like finding that pivot point on a seesaw and balancing on it so that both sides stay horizontal.

      I’m trying. It hasn’t been easy.

      And one of the reasons I mention leaving this place is because I’ve seen so many other fabulous planets in my meditations. There are so many worlds out there and I’m ready to start exploring them again.

      It’s not that I harbor ill will toward earth and this game. I don’t. But when you know there’s so much more to do out there, well, it makes me want to try something new.

  5. LidaV says:

    My 2 cents: You are master of your own fate. The others, well, as one great master already told us…”Forgivr them for they know not what they do!”. Also remember that the greater the risk (living on earht right now), the greater the reward!
    I know my own lightworker is going thru hell right now and tries to find as much relief as possible. All I can do is try to make it easier on him. He means well even when it’s hard on me because of it. Just remember to be kind to each other in the meantime.

    • mike0v says:

      Another top lesson to be learned here, Lida: you are master of your own fate. I agree wholeheartedly.

      So many friends I have suffer because of the law of attraction. They act in barbaric ways, treat others like crap, watch TV for hours on end and then wonder why so much bad stuff comes their way.

      I’ve tried telling them that what you put out is what you get in return, but it falls on deaf ears.

      Great risk=great rewards? Yeah, I can see that. But when does the great risk part end and the great rewards part begin?

      You know, like a brilliantly sunny white sand beach, crystal clear water, big umbrella, ice cold cocktails, pretty girls running around in bikinis, delicious snacks to munch on.

      Something like that…

    • The sunny white sand beach, crystal clear water, big umbrella, etc can be found in Tahiti. You ever wonder what the natives of these ‘paradise’ islands feel and think? Are they happy living in our ‘idea’ of ‘paradise’ on earth?

      I don’t know where the idea of ‘rewards’ came from. No one (or source) used to mention it before. The idea was to do whatever it is you find yourself doing to help others for the love and satisfaction of helping.

      Your reward comes in knowing you have helped bring a moment of peace, a moment of happiness, a moment of love to another to make their sojourn more pleasurable; no matter how fleeting.

  6. ksense says:

    Mike, on the matter of finding the balance or pivot point of the seesaw you said “I’m trying”. May I suggest you stop trying? Be cork on the water and not a rock. When we stop struggling, the struggle goes away. Just be……

    • mike0v says:

      Thanks for this, too. Believe me, I’ve read about “just being” many times in many different places.

      It does work, it makes the struggle go away but a concept like that is new to me because of the life I’ve lived here. A very large part of the lesson I was to learn while in this life was to let go of the desire to help others, let them navigate themselves, let them struggle for answers on their own.

      So many times that I can’t count them all, I’ve been shown to let others succeed or fail by themselves.

      Now, this must be a common theme for lightworkers because I’ve read about this in many other places. We have to learn to let go, to let the world spin on its own.

      It can be hard, though, to watch others, especially family and friends, be in a bad place. It’s in our nature to try to help.

      A case in point is my ex-wife, who suffers with clinical depression and schizophrenia. For 12 years I worked very hard to help her get better. If someone had told me during that time to “just let her go and suffer” I would have been offended.

      It’s extremely difficult to watch someone you dearly love go through such horror but a lot of what’s being taught by ascended masters and spiritual beings is to do exactly that.

      I discovered an interesting contrast to this way of thinking.

      In the Jeshua channelings, Jeshua speaks about allowing pain and suffering to coexist with health and happiness and how it is sometimes in our best interests to remain uninvolved in trying to make changes for any others who suffer.

      A contrasting ideology is brought forth by James of the WingMakers and his virtues of the heart. He speaks of suffering like this: We are all one. All are one. So is it not also true that when one suffers, we all do? If you are able, if you have the resources shouldn’t you try to help others who suffer because when they do, we all do?

      So, my point is: pick your path. Just be and allow the world to move along. Or make efforts to help others.

      And that is where my struggle originates: from making the choice to help others. That is what I have done all my life and up until very recently, it was what brought me so much aggravation.

      Helping others on this planet in this experiment can be very ungratifying.

      So, I’ve now chosen option A and allow everyone around me to sink or swim on their own. Has it helped my piece of mind?

      You betcha.

      It’s just taking time to get used to.

  7. ksense says:

    I wasn’t advising not helping others by any means but how can we help anyone else if we lose our own balance? Remember, I have 2 daughters in their early 20’s. Am I helping them by sending money every time they call and ask for it or am I teaching them a good way to get money? Sometimes it’s better and sometimes not. We MUST let balance find us if we want to stay sane in this paradigm, is all I was getting at.

    • mike0v says:


      I know, please accept my apologies. What you said is right and is very good advice. I meant no offense.

      My problem has been finding a way to reach that state of balance. For me, it has been incredibly difficult to do.

      I think my frustration stems from not finding it yet and here we are, almost at “ascension” or whatever it might be. I’m pretty sure I won’t reach that balanced state before December, either.

      I’ve been awakened for only 15 months. Maybe that has something to do with it.

  8. ksense says:

    I took no offense! You don’t have to find balance….. it will find you, if you let it. Searching for it is like stamping out brushfires. THAT’S one the things we’re supposed to learn or at least it was for me.

    • Could I say that “finding your balance” on this planet depends upon if a person has karma that requires being brought into harmony.

      Some of us have a ‘drive’ to help others because in former lives they avoided doing so and approached life through a very self-centered lens. Living this way deeply hurt others, so in this life they have chosen to be surrounded by those who require help of the deepest commitment, and are being tested. Will they help this time, even though they know their life will be easier if they don’t?

      “Finding balance” means being aware of what is the correct action for you to take, and doing so.

      “Going with the flow” means dealing with whatever situation life places in front of you with integrity and as much grace as you can muster. Tisn’t always easy.

      Sometimes you can best help a person by not helping them (which Brad brought up). But you have to have wisdom and discernment to make the correct decision.

  9. ksense says:

    Well said. Thanks.

  10. claudia says:

    This is my observation of your situation mike and it comes from Love. If a person is feeling dissatisfied with their life and they vibrate in that negative energy field then based on what they are feeling they will attract more situations into their life to make them feel more dissatisfied. However, conversely when one offers gratitude for even the smallest blessings in one’s life then one attracts more blessings to be grateful for. I share this as I got myself out of a dark hole/depression using gratitude as my lifesaver. You are worthy of the Blessings of the Universe mike.

    Love and Light xx

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